I'm in LOVE and I “Broke up” at the SAME TIME

I have this strange feeling inside me about a year ago which is hard to figure out. I think it may be love but since I'm confused, it can be otherwise as well. This mixed feelings are real hard to decide whether it's true love or is it just attraction. After a year of his companionship, I took my time to explore my own feelings. After I poured and seek for advices from beloved and buddy, I get myself to think of the "relationship" that I had. I shall figure think out by now.

Is he always in my thoughts? – I simply can't stop thinking about him. No matter how hard I try but such thoughts would always conquer my mind even when I don't want them to. I would be totally driven crazy just based on these thoughts.

Does me care for him? - I tend to care about them a lot. I value him even more than I value myself and I think this is what true love is all about. I felt hurt when the person I feel I might love is hurt. I feel or experience joy when the person I feel I might love is happy.

Does his company comfort me? – I always feel great comfort and joy when he is around me. And when I'm away from him I would experience loneliness and discomfort.

YES for all the answers above. Therefore confirmed I love him.

BUT…It's often said that the one's we love the most comfort us at the same time hurt us the most. Therefore if even the smallest of acts/words from him hurts me lots. Some possibilities for me to think of whether he is showing me the love:

• he doesn't treat me like I'm important in his life
• he always doesn't keep his words
• he seems to enjoy my company, but it's as though he hasn't decided that I'm the special woman in his life
• he shuts me out of big parts of his real world and inner life
• he keeps telling me that he's not good relationship material, but he doesn't discourage you from with him
• he rewards me for being "strong" and/or "understanding" when he does things that he knows hurt me

"A man who has his emotional act together and is wild about you WILL WANT TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. It will bring him pleasure. Just as hurting you will make him feel like shite, and he'll try to figure out how to stop doing it! He'll also want you to feel as special and valued as you make him feel. He'll be willing to take risks for your love. He'll want to share himself and his life with you. And he'll let the world know that you are his. When a man loves you like this, you feel it .”

So, after figuring all that out. I knew I can't feel the love from him. He did care. He did concern. But that isn't match the love definition.

I knew I shall walk out from the fantasy. I had no more love to give. I can't be hoping. I knew I need to let go...... Good Bye My Love .....

Don't be selfish in saying I LOVE YOU

Something to share which touched me. A true and real fact....

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your partner. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your partner wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept of my feet.' Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of togetherness, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your partner's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your relationship, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, 'Did I tag along with the right person?' And as you and your partner reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationship breakdown.

People blame their partner for their unhappiness and look outside their relationship for fulfillment.Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

Because :

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN RELATIONSHIP IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in and day out. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your relationship work.Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can 'make' love.

So, show your love to your love ones today. Tell them how much you love them and appreciate them.

I LOVE EVERYONE THAT LOVES ME. I LOVE YOU ALL !

My ex-hubby

Lately, I had pillow talk with my "ex-hubby". A old fren from uni. A good friend of mine.

He used to be my guardian during my internship as buddy was away to Germany. He used to be my good companion for shopping during uni time. He used to be my good house-keeper for ironing my cloths. A good cleaner for doing housework for me. A good cook for preparing me good food. Taking good care of me always :).

I always turned him away. I always bully him. I am a bad bad gal. BUT still, he is still nice to me. Haha... We are always mistaken as an item and some frens like to scold us for being too "intimate".

Haha... who cares?! I knew i will be terribly safe with him. We get closer these days. Knew him better. I hope I can guide him through. To have freedom in his heart. To knew himself better.

I love the way he loves me. Hurray! Another pillow by my side............

All the best, my dear!