Realized

Love is blind.
The feeling is good.
But the timing isn’t right.

The heart do cherish a bit when confession been made,
But now it starts going shattered apart.
I’m sad I will never know how much meaning our relationship had for you.
I’m sad because I will never know how you really felt about me.
I’m sad because I still think of you.

For once… I am blind. Naïve. Stupid.
The best words to describe ME.
When I step back and see from far,
I can see clearer, the view is broader.
Suddenly I realized. Suddenly I no longer blind.

I want to smile as I look up at the sky.
I want the moon to brighten the night.
I want the clouds to pass me on by.
I want the stars to guide me to heaven.
I want wings to life me and fly!

And I still do have my dear(s) by my side…. I am not alone.

Friend OR Lover ?

Warning !! This post is totally clean from any "horrible" photos as the previous one :D.

Can a guy and a gal ever be just friends?

This is an eternal question in the minds of most people. Whenever you see a guy and a gal together, the first thing that comes on your mind is - 'they must be seeing each other'. As if there is no other possible relation between them. How far is this assumption justified?

I have many males friends but in contrast to the popular belief, they are NOT my boyfriends. With them around, I never have that 'one thing' in mind. I didn't bond with them just 'coz they are handsome or attractive. We are just close buddies and yet we share such a lovely comfort level. Moreover, I'm more comfortable with them than anyone else.

Now, that does attract a lot of raised-eyebrows. 'Hey, why do you give him so much importance? Is something brewing?' What a bunch of idiots. It's just biological that I'm more open with guys. I mean, I’m more comfortable with the opposite sex. Among pals of same gender, there's always a barrier, some sort of uneasiness. But with the opposite gender, there's no such hassle.

You're always more caring and gentle towards the opposite sex. When you are down and need someone to be beside you, it's them who'll give you more comfort. Similarly, when a girl really needs some advice or help, can she really depend on another girl? Being totally honest, girls dislike helping each other. Even best of friends think twice before helping the other. There's always some jealousy burning between any two girls. But it's just the opposite with guys. Girls can always look upto a guy friend for help or advice. Helping 'damsel in distress' is like top priority for most guys. And as they say - 'A friend in need is a friend indeed'.

There's really a very very thin line between friendship and love. Maybe I donno what's love. For me, they are literally inseparable. Listen to this - "She's my friend but I don't love her" or "I love him but he's not my friend". Sounds funny, huh? My guys friends are more close to me than gals. Some people think of it as my weakness; that I wear my heart on my sleeves. I can't help but pray for them.

Lemme know about your views on this matter.

A lesson to learn

Before operation and Infected flesh

After operation

I’ve been through a minor operation on my toe yesterday, removing the nail. Though this is not the first time I having operation but I do feel scared and nervous. Compared to the previous two major ones that I had, this is really ‘kacang’… But hello, it still hurts.

I hit my toe a month back and it doesn’t bleed by that time. The dirty blood came out a week after that when I massaged it. And in my little heart, I thought it was ok by then. Slowly, the nail was dying day by day and yesterday afternoon, it was half peel off and is painful inside. I really do not know how to react and I as usual ask my dear… He said “Go to Dr and pull it”. And my colleague was like saying “is normal le, let it peel by itself.. Everyone sure experience that in their life”. Sounded so weird and ridiculous. So, I decided to listen to dear.

A uni’s fren dropped by when I got home so she bring me to the Dr. Two injections to the toe. I shouted in pain. Then the Dr. start doing her part but still I felt the pain when she tested using a needle. So she have to inject another dose. Ok… after 3 dose, I can’t really feel the pain but the nurses are looking for blade! Oh God… in my heart I pray that they better find it before the effectiveness of the medicine gone, or I think I will die.

Finally, the Dr. found that and she cut the half-peel nail and infected new skin away. I have to see it as she is teaching me how to do the dressing as she believe I can do it myself everyday. Horrible swollen big red toe. It was killing me few hours later when I’m about to go to bed.. Pain killer doesn’t work well on me. I was lying in pain till I fall asleep.

I’ve a week of MC but I will need to be in the office by tomorrow. The nail is still pulling in pain and uncomfortable feeling is still there but I felt better and can bear with it by now. Tiring and painful experience… I told myself “I will be more careful and never ever hit my toe again!” as this experience is so sucks. T_T

When Love Turns to Pain

Is TRUE LOVE only exists in fairytales?

For now PAIN is the only thing that I know

For sure the PAIN is real

No happily ever after

PAIN is my only proof

It tears my little heart

Hurt my beloved friend

Love is but a sham

Bringing only worse PAIN

Is true love exist?

Why true love can turns to PAIN ?
I do not understand

“It takes only a second to love someone, but it took more than a decade to FORGET him”

I hope he is fine…. Everything will be fine, my dear…