Silent pain

Silently screaming
Nobody hears
Falling down my cheeks
Are unseen tears

This silent suffering
Is getting to be more than I can bear
God, Please help me now
Get rid of my fears
God Please help me now
Sort through this despair

I may as well give it up
I've got nowhere to turn from here
I'm empty inside
And I don't know why

Just go away now, the unknown pain
Whether your here doesn't matter
This silent suffering has come again
And will remain here i think forever

lube .... OH NO!!

I cant take any artificial sweetening agent - no sorbitol, no aspartame, less fructose..

If not mistaken, lube use sorbitol.... DIE!!!! :(

My Diet Menu after the Op

My Menu

No Oil
No FAT
No Milk
No Beans
No Cheese
No White Bread
No Cabbage
No Dairy
No Banana
No Sorbitol or Artificial Sweetener
No popcorn

Less White Rice
Less Nuts
Less Garlic
Less onions
Less broccoli
Less cauliflower
Less sprouts
Less orange
Less apple

What can I eat then!!!!! T...................T

Haiz.... takkan everyday sashimi.... mana mampu?

My BIG Day

Been off blogging quite sometime d.. hehe.. malas n tired. here are some updates... for a month back.. 19 FEB. my bday (hehe... one month still consider not bad compared to my DEAR :P)

Nothing much going on that day. I took leave. Alone. Saje. dont want to work. Went to meet DEAR for makan lunch at Pavillion. My favourite jap food. then walk ard with dear6. and back home to rest. No much celebration heh...old d...

Got a pendant which is very shining and nice from DEAR n DD. Then a spec frame from kawan. Simple and precious gifts.

I bought myself a RADLEY bag and a BRAUN BUFFEL Wallet. hehe... pampered myself a bit and get rid of bad lucks using the old wallet. :P

Bahagia nyer...........

PS: the most got "heart" di of DEAR is Silencer. Never ever thought of this sweet little guy will post me a little cute NICI orang utan which i named him "U U" (in BM). DEAR said he never give hint i like NICI soft toy. REally suprise me. So sweet. So, now i will declare that he is QUALIFIED as DEAR's di. :P kakakaka.... nampak ni budak??? satisfied? oh ya... he even sms me before my bday as he knew i sleep earlier and cant wait for the count down one.... memang korek byk my rahsia le... thankssss a lot.

vday 2009

hoho... happy got this vday gift from my DEAR. my first only gift. yay, thanks DEAR..... muaks

oh ya... i bought myself a stalk of tulip 2 days before the vday... nobody buy ma buy for sendiri lo... not big deal.. happily with a purple real tulip...

been to a pre vday birthday party as well... enjoyable and nice to see my dear(s) around, oh ya and my anak.... having such a soft skin and hair.. jealous... :P

simple and happy vday.....

disappointment

This year started not so smooth for me as I am suffering with serious allergic. Really a suffering month for me and still the condition didn't get better after consulting two doctors. More than 7 visits. I am not well. I see no lights yet. But I still hope I will be better. My DEAR is there for me when I am in suffer. My Dearest is there to give me support. Everyone left me except them. Tonight I seen it. Time to accept. Time to ignore. Time to let go. Completely. Do hope my tears stop here – today is the day I see the truth.

bad condition

year 2009 started badly it seems.. having skin in bad bad condition. i dont know wat happen. i cant sleep by now after the medicine prescribed by dr though. i felt scared. i felt down. i felt the pain. i am worry. i know i might get better. but i know i also might get worst. i had no confident on my body. too many bad experiences in life. there are now more than 20 big blisters spots... they wont spread so dun run away. but they doesnt get better too T_T

little hope for 2009

Ended year 2008 with disappointment in heart... but do felt blessed for the loves from my love ones. 2009 a new year ahead.... unpredictable... just a little hope and wishes ... for those i love, stay healthy and happy always...