EXPLOSION

There is a Chinese saying “paper can’t wrap fire”. Finally, the explosion came! Unexpectedly. I had prepared for that. I had ready for that. I am ready to bear the responsibilities and I didn’t regret for everything. But.. I just didn’t expect for the inaccuracies and half-truth plus the added “garam cuka” from other parties. I had been careless. I felt sorry and guilty for that. I am angry and disappointed as well. I felt upset and worried in the meantime for him to blame me. I hope and pray for the less harm to him.

Many unnecessary people got involved. Many stories were created and finger pointing. Phone ringing non-stop and driving around up and down for more than 12 hours. Sorry to get beloved involved. Felt bad for him as he is really busy and tired. We do not want the conditions to become worst. We tried to get clarification. But, some people just hide themselves in the shell. Scolding back badly to hide their guilt and wrong did. We didn’t confront. We had no energy for that anymore. I felt really disappointed and sad. I had to let go finally. Seeing another side of one person. Different prospect. Different thinking. From concern to care and finally to revenge. Is that a consequence from “un-return” love? I do not know why. I can’t think more.

I was scolded badly from him finally. However, I am glad he does understand. I am glad he still loves me very much as his friend. I felt the warmth and care. I felt the bond for the friendship among 3 of us. I get the strength there. Few close friends were deeply concern and uphold me when I need them. Without that, I might totally collapse.

Things finally come to an end when I had to raise my voice first time in my life to elderly. I felt bad but I just had to. Too hard for me to take anymore. We are younger than those more “powerful” and “aged” people but doesn’t mean that we do not have brain. I can’t say I am very good and mature. But, I learnt and growth in life.

I still continue walking. With the accompany of buddy and beloved… I do believe we will be fine. With the love and understanding among us.. the bond gets stronger. We will shine… We will grow… We believe we will… God bless.